Son not invited to wedding

Hi, I would like to know how to handle this situation as politely as possible. My husband is going to be the best man in his good college buddy's wedding. They've known each other for 20 years and used to DJ weddings and parties together. His buddy is getting married in two months. The wedding is 5 hours from our home, requiring a stay overnight. We have known about their wedding for almost 6 months. But the invitation arrived today and on the RSVP card it Evening Dresses Canada says "we kindly ask that all attending guests be 14 years of age or older." DS is 17 months and most of the time well behaved. My husband and I have always gone everywhere as a family; we just do everything together. That being said, while I was a bit surprised at the "no children" notice, I fully understand and respect the couples' wish not to have young children attend their wedding and reception. It is their day and their wishes. However, DS has not yet learned to feed himself (he is working with an early intervention program for this) and he has some other little special needs, and I do not wish to leave him with a sitter, and my family situation is NightClub Dresses Sale such that we cannot leave him with family. He has never been away from me over night. I am his primary caregiver as a SAHM. He is with me all the time, except for the few times he has spent the day with my parents when I had jury duty. My main concern is that since I cannot go to their wedding, I need to know how to politely let them know why I cannot attend. But I do not want to offend them or make them think I am upset because they did not invite my child. I don't want any hard feelings to develop. My husband is already a bit put off by it since we have known about the wedding for half a year and nothing was said about this previously, and he has been designated as the best man for that long. He is considering declining as best man now, but I don't want him to do that as it might make the situation worse. What is the best way to explain why I can't attend? How should I say it? to add: To anyone wishing to post a patronizing comment, for whatever reason, and accuse me of being angry, please do not waste your time. I am NOT angry about children not being invited, although my husband IS miffed that he was not told http://www.dressesonlinesales.ca/Tags/B/ about it six months ago when he was asked to be the best man. I already clearly stated in my original post above that I am not angry and that I respect the couple's wishes, so please, no rambling posts attacking me for things I have no said or done. This topic was not started so that some may vent their personal frustrations on people they do not know and who have not asked for wrong, way-off-base judgments. I posted this to ask for suggestions on what to tell the bride and groom if they ask why I did not attend. I am not asking for a lecture based on what you *think* I am feeling, etc. Thank you very much in advance. Next weekend is my friend's wedding. I am in the bridal party. No kids under 18 allowed at the reception (even the bride's 16 months old son!) It's an hour away, and I am lucky enough to have family that I can happily leave my 14 month old with. However, another bridesmaid is still nursing her 2 month old and can't go far away. She hass opted to bring a babysitter with her to the hotel. That way the babysitter can watch the baby during the wedding, but she can also run upstairs and feed her when she needs it. Best of both worlds. Can you do something like this? Most the time when people have those wishes it does not always apply to the wedding party especially those traveling. I would ask with full understanding that their answer still may be no. but with understanding your situation they make make an exception. a lot of times people doing no kids is to lighten the load of people and wild children run around and also to spare the bill paying for kids that barely eat. If they are that close it should be a topic that can atleast be discussed witht the couple. with both of you being understanding they will either invite your 1 1/2 yr old along OR understand why you will not be making the wedding I was going to suggest bringing someone with you to the wedding (to stay back at the hotel while you and dh are at the wedding). That way, he isn't far from you, doesn't have a night away, you can go to the wedding still. I was invited to go an hour away, with my DD, to watch my friend's DD while she and her dh were at a wedding. couldn't do it, but i thought it was a good idea. to pay a friend or have your mom go, if you can. But if you don't want to do that, don't feel bad about not going to the wedding. I'm sure they assume some people won't be able to get a sitter. RSVP "1" and if they ask, explain that you have no one who can watch DS over night.